It has been a while…..life has once again got in the way…..and we are back round to the Summer Holidays once more, although this one is different for us.
We are in recovery. Charlie was taken seriously ill towards the end of June. 3 days after a fabulous school sports day – none of us could have predicted it.
It started with him just feeling ‘off’, and very quickly escalated to a scary temperature, swollen lymph nodes, falling asleep in our GP surgery, being sent to the Paediatric Assessment Unit at the hospital and collapsing on arrival. The boy doesn’t do things by halves.
For two days he was literally manhandled, prodded, poked, jabbed, blood was taken, drugs went in, doctors talked, nurses checked, a chest X-ray was taken and finally an ultrasound of his torso and neck. He was so poorly, he barely noticed.
The ultrasound scan was the turning point for me. The amazing Paediatric doctor (Dr R) to this point was calm, positive and unconcerned – his words to me. ‘I will check back in on you this evening’ he had said, ‘I am unconcerned’ and ‘I reckon we’ll get you home young man’. Phew.
Only it wasn’t quite as easy as that. The Ultrasound lady, was again amazing chatting to myself and Charlie. She called her supervisor in to check her findings, and she then in turn called her Superior. That was the point I felt my heart started beating outside of my body. They stopped talking to us. They were using hushed voices. They had seen something that shouldn’t be there.
I do not remember getting back to the ward. Within 20 minutes Dr R was standing at the end of Charlie’s bed. I could literally feel the adrenaline pumping through me and it wouldn’t stop. He spoke very quietly and calmly, but directly. His words I will remember forever.
‘The ultrasound has shown definite abnormalities in Charlie’s spleen and more especially his lymph nodes. We are still waiting for the latest blood results that will tell us more, but in the meantime I need to escalate this with the oncology team and call a case conference with my senior colleague now. It could still simply be an infection, But I cannot get this wrong. I will be back later today.’
I cannot get this wrong.
Even sat here writing that I can feel the terror that shot through me. The tears are stinging my eyes right now. I remember just staring at my boy curled up asleep on the bed, looking so small and helpless. This cannot be happening. The tears are falling. I tried with all my heart to hold them in. This cannot be happening. I paced up and down the side of his bed. I just wanted to hold him to me and make him better. This cannot be happening. Everything was fine just 3 days ago. DO NOT panic I kept telling myself, even though my whole body was screaming PANIC at me. I cannot get this wrong he said.
Five hours later Dr R was back. Five torturous hours where I felt like I just had to hold my breath. Five torturous hours where I silently wishing over and over again for it to be ok. Five torturous hours, during which my phone buzzed time and time again in my bag, but the message I happened to glance at was a message from a wonderful friend (who happens to be a nurse) asking if I wanted her to come and sit with us. I don’t easily ask for help, but it is measure to how I was feeling. Just yes. She was there. Amazing. Five hours later and Dr R was back. He was smiling. I won’t forget that smile. ‘We are ok’ he said. I was shaking. He was smiling. Honestly I didn’t hear anything else after that………We. Are. Ok.
In a nutshell it turns out Charlie had Glandular Fever. Those last blood results confirmed this. In turn his lymph nodes and spleen were unusually enlarged from trying to fight the infection. This then escalated to a further sinus type infection which he needed IV and oral antibiotics for. Very unusual in a younger child apparently. Of course! It was a rollercoaster for us all, absolutely hideous in parts. We were able to mostly commute to and from the hospital, various cannulas still attached………on less sleep than having a newborn………and exactly one week later Dr R discharged us. I literally love that man.
Hospital is such a strange environment. It’s like you are in your own little family world, fighting to win the battle so you can all retreat back home where you belong. I have total admiration, and the warmest gratitude for all the staff that helped us with that battle. From the amazing nurses and doctors of course; to Julie the play lady who had to help me pin Charlie to the bed at each cannula time and squeezed my arm after each attempt; to the man with the snack trolley, who went off especially in search of jelly for the boy as it was the first thing he had shown interest in eating for days………and came back with some half an hour later 🙂
And once again I realise how lucky we are to have all our amazing family and friends who sent literally never-ending messages of support. Thank you to all who called, visited, cleaned, washed, ironed, shopped, dog sat……… and just knew when to turn up, what to bring, and when to leave………and to Charlie’s teacher who went the extra mile for him, which made a huge difference to his world over the past few weeks. You all know who you are and I love you all so much for being you.
And finally to Dean, thank you for helping holding our little family together despite initially saying I was making a fuss, me being so sleep deprived I did not know what day it was, oh and for crying ALL day the Saturday things were all looking up again even though you were totally bemused by that one!
And so home we are. Aside from a random Salmonella infection the following week, just to properly break him, Charlie is recovering well. We are banking on a more boring rest of the year (please) 🙂 Now just to work out how to keep the most active boy in town, still and calm for the summer holidays! Lots of family time, TLC and friend therapy ahead. Recovery time for us all x
livelaughlove 